To advise my teenage self in the past would affect my present. By most societally measurable performance indicators I am a failure, so the question becomes what would my life have meant without that failure? I would not have spent time as an unpaid carer for a friend, I would not have met the cat who became the most dear companion in my life, who made it possible for me to hold some boundaries, making the need to exit abusive and toxic relationships more urgent, who supported me when I gave up with any prospect of finding a human partner, then leading to the space to meet Peter, and for Peter to become that partner, and for me to learn more about myself through the experience of loving Peter. None of this would have been possible if I had by societal standards succeeded in life.

If I were to meet a teenager with my struggles today my advice would be: you are autistic not stupid, you work harder than most just to survive, you will not succeed by forcing yourself to work impossibly harder, if you can learn to work smarter rather than harder you will achieve more, your struggles are valid and you are not simply lazy or thick as your parents keep telling you, ignoring your difficulties will certainly result in you achieving less, take the time and adjustments you need.

My wellbeing and autism blog is intended to help others who might see similarities in my life and theirs. I want to help others in any way I can by offering my experiences and insights to steer others away from the same damaging patterns, to support themselves and seek appropriate support and adjustments. Everyone is different, with different needs and ways of being: an individual with autistic traits is completely valid and their uniqueness can enrich the wider society we live in.